托福作文咩第 29 期 Day 2
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#托福作文咩第 29 期 Day 2# Secondly, as for me, if I watch the movie first, I don’t want to read the book after that, thus I may miss many exciting contents of the book. However, if I read the book before watch the movie, I would like to watch the movie to experience the visual effect of the action and plot. For instance, the year before last, there was a very popular TV play called “Nirvana in Fire(琅琊榜 嘻嘻) ” showed in many TV stations in China. We all amazed by the actor’s performing skill and the ups and downs of the story. However, when we finished watching the TV serial, my friend told me that story in the novel are more splendid than the TV serial although it was adopted from the novel. As a consequence, I was a little depressed but I still didn’t want to read the novel again.
2017-12-05 15:03:12 来自 托福作文咩
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Secondly, as for me, if I watch the movie first, I don’t want to read the book after that, thus I may miss many exciting contents of the book. However, if I read the book before watch the movie, I would like to watch the movie to experience the visual effect of the action and plot.(个人感觉可以把however后面的东西先列出来,再简单说说另一方面。另外整句主题句有点稍显冗重)
 For instance, the year before last, there was a very popular TV play called “Nirvana in Fire(琅琊榜 嘻嘻) ” showed in many TV stations in China. We(此处we有点指代不明) all amazed by the actor’s performing skill and the ups and downs of the story. However, when we finished watching the TV serial, my friend told me that story in the novel are more splendid than the TV serial although it was adopted from the novel(although后面半句可以不要,因为提了改编就已经adopted了). As a consequence, I was a little depressed but(此处转折不充分,应该是递进,用and就可以了) I still didn’t(改成don't) want to read the novel again.

总体来说,有观点有举例,但是整体结构不太清晰,句型和词汇多样化还得加强。语法准确。但最后一句总结句总结功能不太突出。

2017-12-05 20:24
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