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07-24
GRE写作方法课第二节
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#GRE写作方法课第二节# The arguer drew out the conclusion that it is profitable to build up a jazz music club in the city of Monroe. To support the statement, the argument cites the following facts: the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away which allows the new music club to occupy the entire market; jazz is highly popular in Monroe because there are over 100,000 people attending jazz festival last summer, there are certain famous jazz musicians living in the Monroe, and ' Jazz Nightly ' is the highest- rated radio program in Monroe; a nationwide survey shows that the typical jazz fans tend to spend around 1,000 dollars yearly on jazz entertainment.
First, it is possible that local people don't think 65 miles is too far due to the exist of cars and those who really enjoy jazz only go to the music club they like, ignoring the new music club. Second, the argument doesn't tell us the number of local citizens, so perhaps 100,000 people are the little part of all. Plus, though there are some well-known jazz musicians in the Monroe, we don't know if they travel to the city by chance. Besides, the author ignores the possibility that there are few radio programs in that city, which makes them have to choose a program, even though all radio programs are boring. Third, the passage doesn't show the reliability of the survey and possibly the survey was made by some unskilled persons. Under either scenario, adopting the author's proposal might harm, rather than benefit.
2018-07-24 19:32:50 来自 GRE 方法课作业
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基本上老师讲的每一条我都分析了所以写了700多字……但是老师我想问一下需要分析那段argument里面所有的逻辑漏洞吗?还是只用找几个点着重讲就可以了?因为我发现我全部写完的话文章太长而且可能organization不是很好。[br]还有一个问题就是,结尾段引出solution需要把上述的逻辑漏洞再简短的复述一遍吗,还是只用笼统的说需要extra explanation或者specifi evidence之类的就可以了?[br]Merely based on unfounded assumption and dubious evidence, the argument draws a conclusion that a jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. To substantiate the conclusion, the author states the following facts that: the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away, jazz music is very popular in Monroe, and a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1000 per year on jazz entertainment. At first glance, the author’s argument appears to be somewhat convincing. Close scrutiny with the argument, however, reveals that it suffers from several logical flaws as follows. [br]First of all, the author groundlessly assumes that the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away bears some relation to the necessary of having a jazz club. People would like to go far away from where they usually live to look for fun. They might like the environment of community where 65 miles away, because there is a bar next to the jazz club or people like drink and food there instead of because they like jazz music. On the other hand, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away indicates that people live in this town do not like jazz music at all. If they like, there is definitely jazz music club before. Thus, jazz music club in this town cannot be profitable. [br]Secondly, the author provides insufficient evidence to show jazz is popular in Monroe. “over 100,000 people attended Monroe’s annual jazz festival last summer” cannot mean anything. First it was phenomena last summer and cannot be representative evidence to draw the conclusion this year. Second, we do not know the total population of this town. If there are over 100,000,000 people in this town, then over 100,000 people cannot significant state jazz music is very popular. In order to see the popularity of jazz music, we need to know the ratio instead of the number. Third, we do not know the exact reason of going to jazz music festive. Maybe people went to the festive because of the weather or the food or the environment or super stars or just going with their friends? Fourth, several well-know jazz musicians live in Monroe cannot mean jazz music is very popular in this town. Nevertheless, it means jazz music is not popular in this town because jazz musicians usually want to live away from their fans in order to have their privacy. Also, they live in this town maybe because they like the environment or the weather here. Fifth, the “Jazz Nightly” is the highest-rated radio program might because of the time of this radio. At 7 p.m., most of people just finished or are having dinner and want to have a rest by listening to radio. Or they like this program might because they like the stories of some jazz musicians or like the voice of DJ instead of because they like jazz music. With all of the drawbacks of author’s evidence, we cannot conclude jazz music is popular in Monroe. [br]Last, the arguer provides no assurances that the nationwide survey on which the argument depends is statistically reliable. Lacking information about the number of respondents, it is impossible to assess the validity of the results. The nationwide survey definitely generalizes the conclusion in a specific town. Even if this survey is suitable for this town, there are still some problems about the respondents. The author says they are “typical jazz fan” but do not further explain they are fan of playing jazz music or listening music. If they are fan of playing music, they definitely need to spend $1000 per year on instruments, but they might not spend money on going to jazz music club. Even if the respondents are fans of listening to music, $1000 per year is not very big deal in rich area. They spend much money might because the price is high but not because they like it. Thus, this nationwide study cannot conclude the jazz music club is profitable. [br]In sum, the argument seems logical, but is based on nothing more than pure speculation and perhaps wishful thinking, yet lack of some warranted investigation. To strength it, the author needs to evaluate all possible alternatives and provide detail and comprehensive evidence before jumping to the conclusion that having a jazz music club is very profitable.[br]
Merely based on ungrounded assumption and questionable evidence,the argument draws a conclusion that it would be profitable to create a jazz club. To substantiate the conclusion, the author indicates the following that firstly the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away, secondly, several remarkable jazz musicians lives locally, at last, a study indicates typical jazz fans spends nearly one thousand dollars per year. At first glance, the author’s argument appears to be somehow convincing. Close analyzing with it, however, it suffers from several logical flaws.[br]Initially, that the nearest club is 65 miles away cannot prove that the market is broad. If a new club will soon take the loyalty, it is much possible that a jazz club has been built twenty miles away. What is more, the remain club may keep a large amount of users who will not turn to the new ones. The unique rivalry may hold the whole market.[br]Consequently, the famous musicians living locally do not mean that residents enjoy jazz a lot. It is likely that local people do not like jazz at all and as a result, the musicians will not be disturbed by them, which is advantageous for them to create new songs.[br]Last but not least, the result of survey is not persuasive. The definition of “typical jazz fans” is not specific. Let us suppose that only the minor of fans who enjoy jazz as their lives can be called as “typical fans”, even if they are willing to spend enough money, the profit still cannot support a new club. [br]To sum up, this arguer fails to substantiate its claim that a new club will be profitable there because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the author maintains. In order to strength this argument, the author should add to prove the current market is large enough and the new club will earn a lot.[br]
The argument draws a conclusion that a jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. To substantiate the conclusion,the author points out the following facts,(1)the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away so the new club can have local market all.(2)jazz is extremely popular in Monroe.(3)a nationwide study shows that the typical jazz fan spends 1000 dollars per year on jazz entertainment. At first glance,the author’s argument appears to be somewhat convincing. Close scrutiny with the argument,however,reveals that is suffers from several logical flaws as follows.[br]Firstly, the arguer fails to establish the casual relationship between the fact that the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away and the claim that the new club can have local market all to itself. This argument is unacceptable unless there is compelling evidence to support the connection between these two events. Perhaps, for example, some evidence to point out that 65 miles is so far for local jazz fans to join the nearest jazz club,therefore,they will choose the local jazz club if they have one.[br]Additionally, no strong evidence supports the applicant's claim that jazz is popular in Monroe. The attendance data of last summer cannot predict the trend in the future. Plus, jazz musicians living in Monroe could play in other cities, and that 'Jazz Nightly' become the highest-rated radio program may just because it airs weeknight when people are on there way home and meanwhile other radio programs are so boring.[br]What's more, the study quoted by the applicant may not reliable. He doesn't show the size of the sample in the study and the proportion of the so-called typical jazz fan so we can't tell whether the result is statistically significant. Even the sample is sufficient, the study is a nationwide one, however, so we still don't know the absolute number and the relative propotion of the typical jazz fan in Monroe. Plus,we can not make sure that 1000 dollars per years means the jazz fans would like to join the jazz club.In other words, jazz fans in Monroe may spend little on jazz club.[br]To sum up, the applicant fails to substantiate his claim that the new jazz club, would be extremely profitable because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what he maintains. In order to better evaluate the application, the applicant would have to provide more convincing evidence and reply to questions including whether jazz is really popular in Monroe, why there is only one jazz club near Monroe, and how many people would pay for the jazz club.
The author asserts that a jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. To substantiate the conclusion, the author cites the following facts. Firstly, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away. Secondly, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe for some evidence. In addition, jazz fun spends a great deal of money per year on jazz entertainment. At first glance, the author’s argument appears to somewhat convincing. Close scrutiny with the argument, however, reveals that it suffers from several logical flaws as follows.[br]To begin with, the author mentions that the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away. However, if people could drive to the club in an hour, 65-mile is not a problem: maybe Monroe does not suffer from traffic jam, maybe the scenery along with the road toward the club is fascinating, or people there love driving for relax. As a result, a 65-mile trip will be considered as an enjoyable, delightful and unforgettable relaxation. Furthermore, if 65-mile is really a long distance, it reveals on the contrary that residents in Monroe are not big funs of jazz music. Otherwise there would be thousands of jazz clubs in the city rather than an only club 65 miles away. As a consequence, the fact that the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away from Monroe fails to show the author’s conclusion that setting up a jazz music club would be profitable.[br]What is more, the author points out that jazz music is blessed with extremely popular in Monroe for three evidence. First, over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer. However, the city’s population is unknowable and it is also suspicious that if the attenders of the festival is from Monroe or other town. Even if it is truly that a large amount of Monroe citizens took part in jazz festival last summer, that’s may due to the delicious food shared there and the free atmosphere rather than the music. Second, the fact that several jazz composers live in Monroe cannot link to the popularity of jazz, either. Just the verse, it can reveals that nobody in Monroe is crazy about jazz so that jazz musicians lived there would not suffer from people’s disturbance and keep a balance between composition and relaxation. Third, a high audience rate in jazz program may be contributed to the lack of other types of program at that time, so people have to listen to jazz on their way home or when dish washing. In conclusion, there is no sufficient evidence shows that Monroe residents love jazz music.[br]Finally, the author cites a nationwide study which indicates that a typical jazz fan spends nearly 1000 dollars per year on jazz entertainment. However, the nationwide study cannot represent the situation in Monroe. In addition, it is unclear to identify what characterization a typical jazz fan have and therefore how many jazz fan is in Monroe. And the argument cannot answer the question that how many proportion a 1000-dollar consumption share in the gross consumption in Monroe and that how many proportion a jazz fan spend on music club in his expenditure of jazz entertainment. With so many unstated questions, the argument cannot prove its standpoint that jazz fan would spend plenty of money in jazz club. [br]To sum up, the author fails to substantiate its claim that a jazz music club in Monroe would be greatly profitable because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the author maintains. In order to make the argument more convincing, the author should have to provide more evidence.[br]

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