冰凉喜脑 楼主
12-04
口语喵第 36 期 Day 1
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#口语喵第 36 期 Day 1# College should not allow students to keep their pets in their dormitories.
Keeping pets is just waste time and resources. The rooms are not enough already. There's not so much place in the dorm, keeping pets will make dorm very crowded. And it will takes extra cleaning works, means need more staffs and more time. leading to more troublesome things.
The rest problem should be consider too. Pets are not just dirty but also roaring. It is really disrupting others you know. Take a imagine, everyone bring their pets to the dormitory, what will happen during the night? It will be amazing crumble and destroy everyone's rest time.
42.8''
2017-12-04 10:10:41 来自 口语喵
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1 楼
不应该养宠物。
1、浪费时间和资源。, means needING more staffs and more time。 
2、打扰别人。话说disrupt换成disturb比较好吧。 木有take a imagine这种说法好像,建议修改。 bringS
语音语调停顿都挺好的,
2017-12-04 10:39
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2 楼
评论 1 楼: take a imagine 换成 think about it 这样可以吗
2017-12-04 10:41
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3 楼
托福 D1 正义联盟
语音输出:辅音基本能发对,元音自己花时间去练习;语速语流不错;语调比较自然;对于自己的语料的掌控力是不错的 ——接下来可以花心思去正音

素材逻辑:都是在讲道理 中间尝试用“增加人力成本”来支持观点 这个逻辑断层比较大 听众会问一个问题 为啥宿舍里的脏乱差要 增加 staffs 这个要慎重
吵闹的分论点没问题 但是假设的情况是不合适的 为什么“人人都带宠物来”这个逻辑会显得比较稚嫩
2017-12-04 14:03
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4 楼
评论 3 楼: 
College should not allow students to keep their pets in their dormitories.

Keeping pets is just waste time and resources.
The rooms are not enough already. There's not so much place in the dorm, keeping pets will make dorm very crowded. And it will takes extra cleaning works, means students need take more take to keep dorm clean. But college students, you know, they are extremely busy, exhausted for academic work. They don't have anymore time. 
The rest problem should be consider too. 
Pets are not just dirty but also roaring. It is really disrupting others you know. Take a imagine, there is a big black dog sitting in your dorm and keeping "wang wang wang", how does that feel? It will be amazing crumble and destroy everyone's rest time.
2017-12-04 14:13
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5 楼
语言表达(修改后)用词需要注意 第二个分论点表达有问题
College should ADVICE students AGAINST keepING their pets in dormitories.√ 言简意赅没有废话 棒

Keeping pets is A waste OF SPACE and HUMAN resources.
The dorms are CLUSTERED already. Keeping pets will make THEM EVEM MORE crowded. Animal feces REQUIRES extra cleaning works, WHICH means THAT students need TO TAKE TIMES FOR THE RESTORATION JOB. But college students, you know, are extremely busy AND OFTEN exhausted for academic work. They ONLY HAVE SO MUCH time.

!! ALERT !! 这里 休息的问题 不能说 rest problem 请直接修改理由

Also, pet could be noisy and therefore annoying.
They just cannot stop gathering dirt and roaring in a new room. It is really disrupting. JUST imagine a big black HOUND sitting in your dorm and keeping WUFFING. HOW does that feel? IT WOULD JUST RUIN EVERYONE’S SWEET DREAM.
2017-12-04 15:19
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6 楼
评论 5 楼: 啊啊啊!我词汇量太差了,魔王你用的词都好帅!
2017-12-04 17:04
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7 楼
记得补个语音
我给你改的这个版本的
2017-12-04 21:10
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8 楼
评论 7 楼: OK
2017-12-04 21:24
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9 楼
45.5''
2017-12-05 13:25
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