Niki_Hu 楼主
12-04
口语喵第 36 期 Day 1
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#口语喵第 36 期 Day 1# In my point of view, I don't think that allows pets live in dorms is a good idea. Some students have an animals allergy. It means that when they stay near a pet, they will suffer from sneezing and itch. Plus, pets will make the dorms untidy and messy. There isn't a good place to wash the pets, so they may be covered with bacteria and parasites. Also, imagine such a scene: a puppy runs throughout the dorm, digs the floor, and it's hair flies everywhere. The owner may not want to clear up the mess, so it adds to the burden on the students.
It's concerned by some people that pets could bring happiness to the students. But compare with health, happiness isn't the most important aspect in the campus life.
45.0''
2017-12-04 10:02:40 来自 口语喵
评论
1 楼
不同意养宠物。
1、有人对宠物过敏。 I don't think that allows pets live in dorms is a good idea.从句语法有问题。
2、把寝室弄乱。
有让步。语音语调都很好,连读很流利,话说小姐姐听你口音是不是浙江的啊2333
好久没学英语了,来混点评的。。要是说错了请见谅哈。
2017-12-04 10:47
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2 楼
观点:不同意
理由:1、有些人对宠物过敏
          2、宠物会把寝室弄脏
有让步
论证合理,有细节, 结构较好
有高级词汇
语音:整体节奏把握的很好,时间卡的正好
          第二个分论点第一句有点犹豫
2017-12-04 12:17
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3 楼
评论 1 楼: 谢谢评价!是浙江杭州的👍👍佩服i 这都能听出来!!哪些词口音重了点嘛?😂
2017-12-04 12:33
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4 楼
点不了赞了 来评论一下 欢迎归队 感觉语音比起之前退步了呢23333
2017-12-04 16:52
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5 楼
评论 4 楼: 大魔王好!!😆语音是指发音还是语调啥的?
2017-12-04 17:19
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6 楼
单词的 辅音元音吼~
2017-12-04 18:01
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7 楼

同学你好,希望我的建议对你有帮助

语音:
1. 比较流利,看得出掌握的单词比较多
2. 读得太快了,以至于都舍弃了语调的升降
3. Clear 这里,好像读错了


逻辑:
有理由,有例子整体来说,比较充分
Some students have an animals allergy. 但是你的理由说得太隐晦,总是需要别人去猜测,y因为过敏和你反驳的理由中间差这么一句: first of all, it may pose threats to other people’s health.


语言:
1. 高级词汇也运用得不错,词组运用得也很好
2. In my point of view 改成 from my point of view
3. allows pets live in dorms is a good idea, 改成 allowing 动名词才能做主语,动词不能做主语的
4. compare with health, 改成 compared with
5. The owner may not want to clear up the mess, so it adds to the burden on the students.改成 other students
6. It's concerned by some people that pets could bring happiness to the students. 这个让步句写得不是很合适,建议改成:
Admittedly, pets could ……
2017-12-04 19:41
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8 楼
评论 7 楼: 感谢评价!!改进了一下:From my point of view, I don't think it's a good idea. First of all, it may pose threats to other people’s health. Some students who have an animals allergy will suffer from sneezing and itch. Plus, pets will make the dorms untidy and messy. There isn't a good place to wash the pets, so they may be covered with bacteria and parasites. Also, imagine such a scene: a puppy runs throughout the dorm, digs the floor, and it's hair flies everywhere. The owner may not want to clear up the mess, so it adds to the burden on the other students. 
Admittedly, pets could bring happiness to the students. But compared with health, happiness isn't the most important aspect in the campus life.
45.0''
2017-12-04 20:11
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9 楼
评论 6 楼: OK尽量改,谢谢指出!
2017-12-04 20:13
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10 楼
这段文字写的不错!我自己也练了几遍
44.9''
2017-12-05 20:22
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