Tony12138 楼主
11-01
托福作文咩第 28 期 Day 3
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#托福作文咩第 28 期 Day 3# 【作业一】
But there are still people think that traveling at an older age is better, and this could be reasonable. It is true that older people have more experience in dealing with emergencies, especially in a foreign environment. However, these experiences should be gained from traveling abroad at a young age, since young people should broaden their horizons. Furthermore, older people normally don't have as good body conditions as younger people, and this could be an obstacle factor for an interesting trip. Therefore, I think that people should travel at their young age.
【作业二】
1.I prefer to traveling when I am young.
2.Traveling at a young age is my preference.
3.Traveling at a young age is preferable for me.
2017-11-01 21:36:04 来自 托福作文咩
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1.逻辑:
在拓宽视野那里我觉得应该再加一点,比如年轻人正是需要这样处理紧急情况的能力,出国旅游可以锻炼他们拓宽视野。这样感觉衔接自然一些,关联更加紧密。

还有后面说老人身体不好的这个缺点建议删去,因为我们之前练过的理由段已经说到过老人身体方面的问题,这样就会有一些重复。而且和你让步的理由关联不大,看起来会有一些突兀。

2.语法3.用词   都很好,句型用法这些都很流畅,就是在观点上需要改进。

2017-11-01 22:17
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