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10-31
口语喵第 35 期 Day 2
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#口语喵第 35 期 Day 2# Well,this question is confusing me whether a special day or a period of time? I guess my birthday is definitely my favourite day during a year. First of all, I like the feeling that the day before my birthday I am a little girl and after that day I just become a grown up.So amazing! Additionally, I would think of a bunch of things that day,like, how's my future, which city I would live in, and what kind of person I would be and so on. Generally,I am not expected to celebrate my birthday. Even recent years, I spent that day by myself in different , unfamiliar cities, watching moives alone. However, it is still a day that I like the most during a year.
2017-10-31 19:54:34 来自 口语喵
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46.1''
2017-10-31 21:27
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1.逻辑:
      a.我个人感觉第一句的必要性不是很大。虽然细想一下,这里把time和day做了一个小小的解释,但是乍一听会让人觉得有些突兀
      b.感觉两个观点都没有展开进行叙述,让人理不太清楚具体是什么原因让你喜欢自己的birthday,特别是第二个reason,感觉跟为什么喜欢birthday关系不是很大
      c.最后的让步句占的篇幅稍稍有点大了,虽然只提了一嘴,但是比起前面的观点让人觉得稍稍有点喧宾夺主(不过能感受到这里的真情流露
2.语言:第一个原因表达的稍稍有点中式了,读了好几遍才明白想表达的意思(一种微妙的feeling?),试试这样表达(也不一定对嘿嘿):My birthday always reminds me of the great time when I was a little girl. And as time pass by, with having lots of birthdays year by year, the sense of gradually growing up always evokes a subtle feeling inside, I guess kinda nostalgia maybe. 我也不知道对不对(鬼脸
3.语音:声音很好听,听起来很舒服,很流畅,就是有个词可能发音有点问题
              feeling ['filɪŋ],没有l的音哦
2017-10-31 21:56
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